Detested Mirror
by VenemousSyring
Summary: My Brother was living in a world of Mirrors... Fogged, elusive... confusing. Did he feel better when he pretends he is not like me? that we don't share the same face? The same devotion for him? It was so extreme that every day I found myself detesting the mirror. Hei x Ed x Al


**TITLE:** **Detested Mirror**

 **Synopsis:** My brother lives in a world of fogged mirrors, in which you see what your heart wants to believe. That's when I wondered, is it for him it'd feel less wrong to love _Him_ , but it was absurd, it had no sense, no sense to get a replacement… A replacement for me. Brother, does it feel less distorted to want _him_? Does your heart feel less wicked? Does your body feel less perverted when you touch him? Do you feel better with your soul, when you pretend he is not like me?

 **WARNING:** **Male x Male and its YAOI – If you don't like then don't read - Cursing and some wicked themes, the rating may change in the future.**

 **RATE:** **T (May change in the future)**

 **DISCLAIMER:** **I don't own any character from the series Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood and Fullmetal Alchemist: the conqueror of Shamballa.**

 **PROMPT: "I want some pretty confusing shit involving Alfons Hedereich x Ed, angst between Alphonse and Ed, Al x Ed if possible, I want it to be in Al's POV because I want to see how confused and strange Ed's behavior can be. Author-san I want this thing like this: When Hei was with Ed, he was missing Al but when he is finally with Al, Ed is seemingly missing Hei too much; evolve your story around it (if possible).**

 **(Prompt by SoThereIsTheRacoon and ImGlad)**

 **A/N: God that was a long prompt but thank you for sending it (like weeks ago, sorry) anyone can send me prompts about Fullmetal (if the fandom happens to still be alive of course) I will try to write about FMA, oh sorry for the grammar and spelling mistakes, I happen not to have a beta. Well, (try to) enjoy it…..**

 **Elricets? You decide.**

 **Royed too? You also decide.**

 **(If the fandom happens to be alive…. Of course)**

 **EPILOGUE 1: DELUSION**

Of course the delusion of the matter dragged him in this state and I could only quietly ask him to wake up. He would be up at night with his eyes wandering up to the skies, forgetting completely I was alive because _I_ was not _him._

When did _he_ stop being his wished epitome of me, when did I become the one he wishes it was him?

When was that this became so elusive, this confusing?

How can I clearly see what's wrong with him, and then look at myself as though I'm standing in front of a fogged mirror?

Truth over time becomes either guarded or twisted as their perspective changes; it changes with the seasons of their shame, love, hope or pride.

"Brother, I'm home."

Delusion detests focus and romance provides the veil.

"Brother?"

"Al."

Your attachment to unhealthy people and bad habits, which offer you no real control, is why you're spiritually dying and living a life out of balance, please Brother… Wake up.

"What's smells so good?"

I'm here.

"Its stew, the neighbor gave it to me when I approached home"

"Oh."

The plates were served; I could tell by his smile he was pleased. But I don't know who he was smiling to. My brother fell to a lunacy of worlds, and I will never understand when I became part of the background for his focus.

"Brother?"

Perhaps we all lose our sense of reality to the precise degree to which we are engrossed in our own work or devotion, and perhaps that is why we see in the increasing complexity of our mental constructs a means for greater understanding, even while intuitively we know that we shall never be able to fathom the imponderables that govern our course through life.

"Yes, Al?"

"I miss you."

The abrupt clatter of his glass hitting the table make it remarkably loud how the statement downed on him.

At first he didn't say anything; my brother just stared at me with those delusional golden eyes. Flickering between lunacy and fiery mentality, he could hide it so well, if I didn't know him I would buy it, I would believe he really is walking among us; he is walking alongside me, with his mismatched feet planted over _this_ world.

"Al?"

My hand slowly reached for his until my cold fingertips brushed his knuckles, "It`s nothing brother."

He nodded and my smile didn't falter, sudden waves of concern strike me down, I can't resist the urge to wake him up. I just can't.

My hand no longer over his, Edward is dismissive.

He keeps on munching genuinely happy and I can't have the heart to eat anymore, I want him to eat it all up, there has been days since he last ate something, I should consider preparing stew for him more often and though I didn't prepare this I wish I had.

I know he noticed it.

"You are not eating that?"

I half-heartedly smiled and he grinned, taking my plate over his to serve my portion onto his, "Thank you, Al"

"It's okay brother."

The dinner finishes there, the chirping owls bathed the night with the lingering though of emptiness among us. There is nothing more difficult to me than to hear him sob and it happened again.

Over and over again, the sound echoed my head.

" _Al"_

" _Al"_

" _Al"_

" _Al"_

Another weep _"Al…"_

It kills me.

" _Al… please"_

Another snivel.

The first night I heard it I immediately got out of the bed and ran to the living room where the sound came from. I was embellished when I saw him.

Brother's cheeks were flushed from crying, tears ran down like diamonds, his eyes filled with so much pain, his hands gripping for dear life at the window's frame, his knees touching the ground and I never saw something so precious in my whole life. He was indeed ethereal.

"I'm here"

Even though he heard me and my arms circled his frame, his hand kept glued to the window's glass, melancholically reaching the moon.

"Al"

"I'm here brother" I whispered on his ear.

"Al"

"Brother, I'm here with you."

"Al"

"Can't you feel me? Brother?"

"Al"

His head fell backwards on my shoulder and the shudders never ceased, the blubbering cries from his lips didn't stop.

"Al"

The reflection the moonlight created on the window told me the pain he was enduring, his eyes were closed, the water spilled like a bag that couldn't contain its liquid.

My eyes widened.

My arms slowly let go of him and I slowly stood up. His head slowly touched the glass, his long hair spilling over the floor, he didn't stop.

That was the first time I realized….

I was not the Al he was longing for.

OOOOOOOOOOO

… **.Yes, I'm going to hell for this.**

 **Thank you for reading, this thing was short though… I will write drabbles later and next chapter too… I guess….**

 **Review**

 **Damn…. If the fandom happens to still be alive….**

… **the shit I'm writing so ImGlad can let me get in his journal…. Shit….**

 **:D**

 **VS**


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